Father's Day & Finalizing Decisions

Celebrating more milestones Alva has been with us for as we look ahead to our remaining weeks with her.

Our appointment started off on a high and unexpected note this week: The nurse who brought us into our ultrasound room said the staff had a surprise for us. We were deeply touched (but not surprised) to hear that our family is often talked about in their staff meetings, and many people are thinking of and praying for us when we’re not there. They’d been wanting to do something special for our family, and that day during our sonogram, they recorded Alva’s heartbeat and gave us a stuffed bunny to put the recording in. We thought a bunny was just perfect since we’re the Bunns, and some relatives have lovingly referred to our babies as “Baby Bunny” before we knew gender or name. 

We planned to present the bunny to our boys in a special way, but they have an almost supernatural ability of sniffing out surprises. We picked them up from daycare following our appointments this week and, as we were loading Jonah up, he magically grabbed the bunny from its hiding spot beneath a heap of things on the passenger seat. We joke that he has a “stuffie sensor.” Both boys were delighted by the bunny and took turns cuddling it and pressing the button inside to hear their sister’s heartbeat the rest of the evening. 

We asked Arlen what he thought we should name the bunny, and he immediately said “Baby Peter.” (He’s been wanting to name all his stuffies Peter after our friends’ baby lately, who they’ve only met over photos and videos but adore.) Garret and I are trying to get “Bunny Alva” to catch on instead. 

Arlen even negotiated his way into getting to sleep with Bunny Alva one night this week. The main term of agreement was that he wouldn’t stay up listening to her heartbeat, which we heard him violate several times over the monitor despite his seemingly sincere promise. It’s the kind of thing we would normally correct, but neither of us had the heart to in this case.

Alva is still growing as much as can be expected and hoped for given her diagnosis. Nothing this week caused our specialists concern that we might lose her in utero soon. We discussed different types of deeper monitoring and stress tests that are typically done in late pregnancy when there are concerns for fetal viability. We continue to be grateful in new ways at each appointment for our specialists’ knowledge and transparency: They were very forthcoming that some tests, like checking for the ability of practice breathing, likely are not ones that will be very helpful given Alva’s neurological development. In other words, these tests could give us results that typically would suggest early intervention, but may not actually be a sign of decline in the womb that should necessitate early induction for Alva.

Regardless of what may end up transpiring timing-wise, one big update is that we have decided we’ll plan on an induction. This is a one-eighty from where we’d been early on after learning Alva’s diagnosis, when we both felt the most peace about letting whatever may come with labor happen as naturally as possible. 

We’ve been leaning toward induction for a few weeks now as conversations have gotten more and more detailed about the labor, birth, and immediately after-birth experience we hope to have. In our heads, there are really only pros to induction, a few of the key ones being:

• We can work with schedules to have the best team of midwives, nurses, and neonatologist ready for Alva’s arrival

• Everyone involved (including Garret and I) can be as prepared as possible for the moment Alva enters the world. My labor with Jonah began spontaneously with my water breaking at home at 12:10pm, then he was born at 3:32pm (and that journey included a half-hour drive to the hospital, check-in, etc.). If a similar or shorter timeline played out for Alva, I know it’d feel like a panicked scramble for us. 

• Even though we’re trying to hold plans very loosely, an induction will also hopefully allow us to involve people, arrange childcare, and welcome Alva to the world in the way that we’re hoping for. 

• A planned date will also give allow us to start preparing Arlen than Alva will likely go home to Jesus rather than come home with us in the timing we think will be best for him.

Even though we’d been discussing the idea of an induction for a while, it was only a few days before our appointment this week that I was able to bring myself to say the words “we should induce” to Garret. In my heart, it is very hard to fathom setting an end date to this pregnancy. A new prayer request is for peace with this decision. As hard as it is, we do know it’s one we’re making out of love for Alva and a desire to give her the best hello and goodbye to this world we possibly can. 

Unless there’s a clear reason to induce earlier, our team has recommended we look at a date around 38 weeks or shortly before, which means Alva will have a July birthday. Jonah came two weeks late, so when we were given Alva’s due date of August 2 at her first dating scan, I was very much expecting we’d have an August baby in the family. My birthday is in July, and I’ve always thought it’s such a great month to be born in, especially living in the Midwest. Despite all the circumstances, I do think it will be special to share a birthday month with my daughter. 

In the meantime, we continue to include Alva in our everyday lives as much as we can. She’s been with us for two big weekends in a row—daddy’s 30th birthday last weekend and Father’s Day this weekend. We bought Arlen his first new bike this weekend, which felt like a milestone, and we love that she was with us for it. She also got to hear Jonah make a remarkably passionate case for having his turn to test-drive the bike in the Scheels parking lot. She really is experiencing the good, the bad, and the ugly in our family!

We also were able to attend our friends’ daughter’s child dedication this morning, which was so special and allowed us the opportunity to visit their church for the first time. Their pastor had a great message and shared the following passage, which has been on my mind for much of the day:

“If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”

-Daniel 3:17-18 NIV

For context, the verses above are Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego’s response to King Nebuchadnezzar after they’ve been found guilty of refusing to worship his golden image. Their response comes after they’d been given an opportunity to disprove the charge or change their minds about their decision. But they do not compromise on their faith, even knowing it could mean burning to death.

I haven’t been thinking on these verses because I find our circumstances comparable to Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego’s, but because I find their faith encouraging. They knew God could deliver them from death, but they also knew He could choose not to. And they were committed to worshiping Him either way. 

It can be very difficult to continue having hope for a miracle after we see the reality of Alva’s diagnosis with our own eyes week after week. But God’s word reminds us He is able. After all, He’s done far unlikelier things! And we’ve seen Him deliver us from many things already along this journey.

But, we also know that His ways are higher. And our prayer is that, even if we don’t understand it, His will would be done in Alva’s life. And we are committed to worshiping Him no matter what. 

As I wrap up, I want to wish a very happy Father’s Day to all the dads who might read this! And shout out Garret for being the best dad I ever could have imagined for my kiddos, both born and unborn. The way he protects, provides for, and prioritizes them will never cease to amaze me. And I know that as our boys learn about Alva’s story with greater understanding as they grow, they’ll see a dad who fiercely loved and protected his daughter, as much as it was in his control. And I’m very thankful that he is their example.

Happy Father’s Day from the five of us!

Jonah’s “stuffie sensor” successfully located Bunny Alva

Arlie discovers the bunny holds Alva’s heartbeat <3

As I mentioned in this post, we’re trying to hold plans loosely because, as this journey has shown us, there is just so much outside of our control. But, one major hope we have is to be able to get Alva outside right after she is born, if she’s born alive. July is such a beautiful month here in Minnesota. It would mean a lot to us to know she got to feel a summer’s day, fresh air, the sun on her skin. And to be able to tell her that she’s going to a place even more beautiful before we have to tell her goodbye.

Please join us in praying for:

• A miracle of healing for Alva, and that she would get to live many healthy days with our family rather than just the one we’re anticipating

• Peace for us with setting an induction date, and that induction really would lead to the best outcome for Alva

• A beautiful day for Alva’s birthday, and that our team could manage to get us outside with her between hello and goodbye